Stuff from Angie

Review: Coyote

2012-02-28T08:27:00.002-08:00

Coyote by Allen Steele
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I think as long as an author has good grammar, decent sentence structure, and basic storytelling skills, I will give them the benefit of the doubt. I believe I will try hard to like a book but sometimes, it just doesn't work. At the end of Coyote, I found I just couldn't like it despite the fact that I held on until the end.

The most annoying problem was what I refer to ask "carrot dangling". Sometimes in a narrative there will be vague references and allusions to the past or the future so that the reader is curious enough to keep reading. For example, a character might briefly remember bits and pieces of some bad accident from their youth and the reader hangs on until the details and complete story are revealed over time. I often felt this technique come up in Coyote unnaturally, and it brought my focus out of the story instead to critique the writer explicitly. There are a couple of examples I will provide to demonstrate why this was so annoying.

The first example is a case where the story was following a young girl and her relationships to two different boys. The next chapter was an excerpt from the same person's diary, written in her old age, describing events like a flashback. For no apparent reason, the woman refers to her husband as "my current partner". So when does someone writing in their diary not use first names, especially of those people close to them? Furthermore, no where else in the book was the term "partner" used like that – is she married or not? Why would she bring it up like that? It felt like a direct poke at the reader – "you're not supposed to know which boy she picked yet, so you have to keep reading."

Another example in same vein – we are still reading a woman's journal as she describes events from her youth that haven't happened yet in the primary narrative. She makes a reference to an adventure she went on that "cost a person's life." Really? When you're writing in your diary, you wouldn't just say how you miss so-and-so because they died on your adventure?

These details were really jarring to me and made it hard to empathize with any of the characters. Another reason that it was hard to empathize is that the story never really focused on one character. I think that as the reader I was supposed to care about the group as a whole – their survival and ability to start a new colony – but the motivations of everyone where so disjointed that instead I just felt tossed from one individual struggle to the next. If there was an underlying thread that was supposed to tie all the independent actions together, I never found it.

This is one book I can't see myself ever reading again, and probably won't even try any of the author's other works.

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Pictures from Aruba

2012-01-30T08:46:00.000-08:00

Finally processed most of the pictures I took from our trip a couple weeks ago. This is about one tenth of all of them. (I went a little camera crazy) Enjoy!

Aruba 2012

Review: Judas Unchained

2012-01-27T07:13:00.002-08:00

Judas Unchained by Peter F. Hamilton
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Overall, I liked the series because it had the hard scifi feel I've been craving, however, certain themes fell a little short for me. Final score is 3 out of 5.

I finished the book awhile ago, so this review may be a little fuzzy on details from bad memory. (I was busy preparing and then experiencing a vacation in the Caribbean -- a good excuse!) The general take away I have from this story is a pleasant one. One of my primary drivers to read this in the first place was to find some serious hard science fiction and this definitely fit the bill. It was well-written and didn't fall into any tropes that I am familiar with. In other words, I was engaged and on my toes most of the time. However, there are a few areas that didn't work so well for me.

First, I felt overwhelmed with the number of protagonists and never really sympathized with any of them. The large cast and wide scope of the story felt a lot like the Song of Ice and Fire (George R. R. Martin) to me. However, with George, I perceived the world as being small at first and then growing bigger and bigger gradually. Peter, on the other hand, just plunged me in to this huge Commonwealth so quickly I had a hard time getting my bearings. (I will admit that some of this could be biased because I’ve read Ice and Fire more than once.) And this is my fuzzy memory talking here –- but the viewpoints from the Commonwealth didn’t seem truly first-person. Like I never really got the sense that I was getting inside anyone’s head. Thus, being an outsider, the events didn’t impact me that much.

(Minor spoilers here)
Second, several aspects of the technology were not explored to my personal satisfaction. The fact that humanity is basically immortal at this point should have changed our culture more drastically in my mind. Similarly, if humanity can create memory-storage chips that are built into our brains, wouldn’t we have a ton of other cybertech? Too many aspects of everyday life remained the same as what we experience today that at times, I almost forgot how far-future the story was supposed to be.

Those complaints aside, I did enjoy the series. I like it when alien species are presented as truly alien and not just a different human culture in costume. I like exploring the universe in space ships and using computers and technology to do amazing things. Once my ‘to read’ list empties out, I would even consider revisiting this story again.

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Movie Review - The Sherlock sequel

2011-12-23T06:58:00.000-08:00

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - 8

Although I can't say that this is a ground-breaking movie or even one that I will watch over and over, but it was definitely enjoyable. In fact, I liked it more than the first one and I will probably buy the bluray and watch it a couple of times.

Robert Downey Jr. does a great job once again playing the slightly off-beat genius and he is balanced very well by Jude Law. I didn't really understand their relationship in the first movie, and although there are no real surprises in this one, I think the writing did a better job of making me believe their friendship. I also was surprised by the appearance of Noomi Rapace as the gypsy and I can't wait to see her in more American films (hint Prometheus).

The most rewarding thing for me this time around was the fact that I didn't have to wait until the end of the movie to understand everything that was going on. In Sherlock Holmes, there was really only one big mystery that you were trying to solve all the way through and unless you were paying attention closely (and are a genius yourself), the answer wasn't revealed until the last five minutes. In this sequel, there is a big mystery for the end, but there are also lots of small mysteries along the way and each of those are explained very quickly so you aren't kept waiting.

Finally, I felt like I was laughing more during this one, and that is always nice. If you liked the first one, then this will definitely be up your alley. Overall, this movie rates an 8.

Review: Pandora's Star

2011-11-28T14:24:00.002-08:00

Pandora's Star by Peter F. Hamilton
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Well, my review for this book cannot be considered quite 'complete', since the story isn't finished. I didn't realize that when I started it, but this is the first of two parts.

That being said, I am really enjoying the story so far and plan to continue the second half as soon as possible. This is almost the exact kind of science fiction saga I have been hoping to read -- far future, with strange aliens and all sorts of interesting social questions. The only small drawback is that this tale is MASSIVE and I was really looking for something on a smaller scale. It wasn't until about 3/4 of the way through the book that I felt I had a decent grasp on all the characters. I am sure I have missed a lot of interesting details and will probably end up listening to the audio version a second time, assuming that the ending doesn't disappoint me.

Another small detraction for the book is that I didn't find too many enthralling characters. There are just so many to keep track of, and not very many of them are explored in depth. There wasn't anyone that I really hated (you know, like a Tywin Lannister), but nor was there someone to really root for. There was just a general, "What's going to happen next?" urge that continued pulling me through this first half of the saga.

On the other hand, I really enjoyed the description of some of the alien species. They really give you that 'alien' feeling. This aspect of the narrative has me very curious about the events of the next book in the series. So I will give it a 4 out of 5 for now, with a caveat that I may amend that rating after I read the second book, Judas Unchained.

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Review: Reamde

2011-11-06T05:19:00.001-08:00

Reamde by Neal Stephenson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

TLDR: I enjoyed this book all the way up to the end. The conclusion felt a little abrupt to me and sort of hollywood-ish since I was expecting more bad things to happen. (I may be ruined by GRRM)

I almost let my internal expectations of this book disrupt my actual enjoyment. My familiarity with Neal Stephenson is based mostly on 'Snow Crash' and 'Diamond Age'. Those were both heavy science fiction settings with long passages of philosophical ramblings. So while reading 'Reamde', I kept expecting there to be either an aspect to the virtual game T'Rain that would make it futuristic somehow, or for the author to digress into a long discussion about how virtual game worlds affect the real world. Actually, now that I think about it, there were a few small tangents about that, but they were short enough that I felt they didn’t detract from the bigger story.

And that bigger story was certainly action-packed! This was a small surprise and delight for me. Again, based on my memories of his past works, I was prepared for Neal to set up some pauses in the story where the protagonists could agonize and theorize about their situation for long periods of time. This book kept me on edge the entire time, continually wondering what would happen next and if the heroine would ever get some rest.

Therefore, when I finally came to the climax of the story, it didn’t actually feel so climatic. Rather I had the impression that the non-stop action, which had been moving at a pretty steady quality and pace, just comes to an end. My opinion on this might be slightly fooled by the fact that I listened to this in audio format and as the fixed end approached, I thought there was another section to listen to, and so I wasn’t really ready for the story to be over.

Another detractor for me was the overwhelmingly positive outcome. I don’t want to spoil things too much – there are some sad parts and not everyone comes through in one piece – however, I did get the feeling that many of the story elements were tied up too neatly. People were able to overcome outrageous obstacles a little too easily. Although I like for there to be a happy ending, I wanted tougher consequences handed out. (This is where I think I may be spoiled by reading too much George R. R. Martin lately. He has skewed my perception of what is a ‘happy ending’.)

Overall, the book was a definite page-turner and something that I will probably read again in the future.

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Review: American Gods

2011-10-28T08:04:00.001-07:00

American Gods by Neil Gaiman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

TLDR: Very well written, but bland story. I might try another Gaiman book, but I did not really enjoy this one.

I don't think this book and I got off on the right foot. Because I prefer to be surprised by a story, I usually don't do any research beforehand which was definitely the case here. I had heard several people refer to Neil Gaiman as a good author, and somewhere along the line I placed his name in the category of 'science fiction authors' in my head. So lately when I've been feeling this urge to read a good science fiction story, I thought to myself, "Maybe it's time to check out that Neil Gaiman guy." So here on goodreads, I posted a request for recommendations on which of Gaiman's many stories to start with and the most suggestions were for 'American Gods'.

Obviously, the first problem here was my desire for science fiction, which this story is not. This story is placed in present day with strong fantasy elements. These are not necessarily bad things in and of themselves, but this is not what I was in the mood for, hence, the "wrong foot" beginning.

However, Gaiman is definitely a good writer. His prose drew me in at first, and I felt that I should stick it out to see where things went. I was rewarded with some interesting imagery and many surprises, because this plot did not follow along any well-established arcs.

On the other hand, the second problem I struggled with was the nature of the fantasy elements. Here is where the title, 'American Gods' should have clued me in -- the story includes actual gods; deities; beings that are worshiped by humans. My own issues with religion make such a story very difficult for me to enjoy because of the personal drama associated to this topic. Therefore, I was continually looking for other things in the book to entertain me, such as characters or locations. Yet again, this often fell flat for me because I just couldn't relate to the main guy and many of the people described were just confusing or obnoxious to me.

In the end, I would not recommend this book to someone else. However, there was enough talent in the storytelling itself to lend me hope that Gaiman could produce something else I might enjoy. I'll probably come back and try a different story after I'm able to satisfy my science fiction craving.

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Personal Burning Man Messages

2011-09-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

So my uncle posted this beautiful essay about his Burning Man experience and I wanted to try and follow up with something from my own perspective. As he tries to describe, even his many eloquent words don't scratch the surface, so there is room for more explanation. And whenever our non-Burner friends and family ask us about it, we continually search for new ways to communicate this indescribable thing.

However, as I started typing out my futile sentences, I began to feel more and more that my words didn't really add much to a general description of Burning Man as a whole. So instead, I decided to speak directly about my personal Burning Man trip this year.

Better than describing what happened, I want to talk about how I felt by delivering some messages to my camp-mates. First an apology -- as I have gotten older, I have become a little more uptight and worrisome about things (yes, some would say obsessive). This unnecessary stress leaks out from time to time making me an unpleasant person to be around. At Burning Man, I consider myself primarily responsible for all the food at our camp, including finding, packaging, transporting, storing, preparing, cleaning, etc. Although in my heart I really enjoy cooking for other people and I consider it my Burning Man gift to my camp to take on this responsibility, I still let the little things get me stressed out sometimes. So I want to apologize to everyone in my camp for my craziness. I hope my stress didn't dampen your Burn in any way.

Next, a super-big thank you to RGB for all the planning and preparation and just overall awesomeness that he brings to Burning Man every year. Yes, we occasionally tease and laugh at his detailed maps and spreadsheets, but without all that order, our group would have to deal with chaos that could detract from our fun. And who else could plan in such detail that hardly anything gets forgotten? Who else would take so much time and care to make sure everyone had an environment suitable to their own tastes? Well, no one else but my RGB, that's who. All the effort was worth it. I can't begin to thank you enough.

Also I would like to thank Hurley for the best shower on the playa to date. It was a little tricky arranging for the transport of a such a large item, but again the effort was worth it in the end. I bet that our camp was probably among a countable few with heated water and a private tent. Yet Hurley also goes through a lot of trouble to take amazing photos and time-lapse movies for us all to enjoy. I am very grateful that he is willing to lug around a tripod and weighty camera to accomplish such beauty.

Butterfly, your smile and warm spirit were a welcome addition to our group. I especially am thankful that you were eager to make ice runs and cart our junk around in your bike's baby-carriage. Oh, and the fire pit! It was really nice to warm up next to that while still enjoying everyone's company. Thank you for lugging that big thing and all that firewood out for our benefit. And finally, I am not sure I can ever repay you for taking out all our trash. That was one of the many 'little' things that often caused me some worry, and you just lifted it completely off my shoulders!

I probably should have started this list by thanking Camplet, because most of this trip is all his doing. I know that at least four of us who wouldn't have gone to Burning Man this year, except we changed our plans when we heard Camplet would finally make it to the playa. Your excitement and energy was truly infectious and for me personally, you were an inspiration that helped spur me to go out more often, see more things and interact with more people. I believe I still have room for improvement, but this was my best Burn yet in part because of you.

Odie, you just made me lose the game. Despite that I'm glad because you also helped make the scaffold successful this year. Without your expertise and positive attitude, I don't know when or if that thing would have been constructed. It was a relief to know that you were available to help out with any camp infrastructure issues. And watching you dance makes me smile.

Thank you to both Snad Nasty and T-Con for being my kitchen helpers. You two probably saw the worst of my stress levels when I was trying to handle all of the food issues, and your genuine support guided me through the week. T-Con, you remain a role model for me as I try to be better at 'mothering', without actually 'mothering'. And Snad, I hope I can learn to laugh as much as you do some day.

I am also grateful that Crash came and I got a chance to get to know him a little. Although he'll always be Crash to us, I hope that next time he can have some fun without the actual crashing.

Finally, Eric -- how did we make it without giving you a playa name? A few ideas come to mind now: Cideriffic, Commander Commerce, Mr. Smiles, or even The Man with the Little Man (because I loved both your hat and your bike basket). I guess you're just going to have to come back so we can give you something official. It won't be Camp Con Sarde without you!

So, as you might have surmised by now, a lot of the Burning Man experience for me has to do with the people. I consider this year my best Burn so far primarily because of everyone involved and all that they did. But it was also everyone I was able to interact with while I was there. Our neighbors, the Not Sure Girls were a lot of fun. And of course, I can't leave out Domitron's group and their amazing technicolor coats!

And thus I will end with my simple plea: if you haven't been to Burning Man, you really should go at least once. And if you're going to go, then you might as well join us, because our group has the most fun!

Into the Dust

2011-09-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

This is a copy/paste of a note from my uncle as he tries to describe his first Burning Man trip. He has given me permission to post this here to grant easy access for those without Facebook. I am not this eloquent, but I hope to write my own response within a few days.

Describing Burning Man is just one thin layer of dust shy of impossible. When I have too little time or I'm answering the question of a person I know won't really care about the answer, I just say it's an art festival in the desert. But that's like saying the Pacific Ocean is like your bathtub, only bigger. It's both accurate and tragically wrong at the same time.

There is art, yes. Plenty of art. Staggeringly beautiful, clever, ever original, mind blowing and sometimes gut-wrenchingly emotional art, the kind that can only come from the place deep in your soul that gets touched by a truly unique inspiration such as Burning Man. And it's in the desert, yes. Not the desert that surrounds Oak Creek Canyon in Arizona, or the desert surrounding Las Vegas or even nearby Reno, or any desert in North America, really, because all of those deserts are experienced within reach of a comfort zone, a tether to the default world, a safety net, a television and running water. And they have life in them, even if only in little tiny bits like a salamander or a cactus or a sage brush way over there somewhere.

The Black Rock Desert is a dried up, ancient lake bed, flat as a pancake and utterly devoid of anything that lives or ever did live, whether it had eyes or branches or leaves or any other characteristic of things that move, grow, breathe or dig roots. And it's big - about 400 miles of white, hot, dusty nothingness ringed by mountains in all directions way, way, waaay over there. The nearest town has a population of 206 and looks like towns must have looked over a hundred years ago. The nearest commercial anything that you've seen before - drugstore chain, fast food chain, whatever - is a few hours away. There's just flat out nothing out there, and lots of it.

What is also in volume out there is heat and dust. Blistering heat, drier than any dry you've ever felt before, so dry it sucks away your sweat before it even has a chance to escape your pores. The heat bounces off the hard packed ground back up at you like a mirror. It's a bit like standing in the middle of a big parking lot at noon on the hottest day you've ever felt, with zero point zero zero zero humidity, and no grocery store or mall or light post or curb or stick, twig, pebble or anything anywhere around you for 400 miles. It's kinda like that, and kinda not like that at all.

The pavement under you is nothing like pavement, or dirt, or desert sand, or anything else you've walked on before. It's a highly alkaline dust as fine and flitting as powdered sugar, so light that it jumps up into the air if you touch it with a finger and then hovers there until the wind moves it or gravity eventually coaxes it back down. Cream colored, the dust forms sometimes small and sometimes large dunes when it has enough time to do so, and transforms into a hard as wood, cracked, alien landscape when it really settles. It creates a flooring you can't quite understand while looking at the few inches surrounding your feet, and boldly insults the logic and reasoning of your brain when you take in the vastness of it disappearing out in all directions around you.

That dust combines with the dry air to suck away your last drop of moisture like a Dyson vacuum cleaner and crack the skin around your fingers, toes and nose within a few hours of exposure. It's as pervasive as water - if you drop anything into a pool of water everything gets wet from the top to the bottom and the little undersides of those littlest bits. It's like that, but the opposite of water. Every nook and cranny of every single thing you bring with you gets coated with playa dust in short order and doesn't get uncoated until you leave the playa and scrub it down, and sometimes not even then. Bring a black canvas bag and three hours later it's a gray canvas bag from then on until the end of time, maybe longer.

You eat that dust, breathe that dust, learn to love and become one with that dust, or you leave. When it's dark and you're walking around with one of those headlamps strapped to your forehead you see the dust exactly as you see a snowstorm in the headlights of your car, except there's no windshield and that dust is coming for your face, eyes, nose, tongue, belly, fingernails and elbows like you signed a contract to merge your life form with it. Because, basically, you did.

And then there are the winds. Almost constant and forever threatening to gust like a tornado, the winds pick up the dust and throw it at you like the insignificant spec of nothingness you are when you're on the playa, creating dust devils ranging from a cute few feet in diameter to a humbling beast as wide as the entire playa, 50+ mph strong and unconscionably virile, sometimes lasting minutes, hours or even days without waning, blinding your vision beyond your own hand and relocating anything that isn't tied, tethered or planted into the ground in the most secure fashion.

So what does this crazy, inhabitable environment have to do with that art festival I mentioned? Everything. Because Burning Man has a core tenet that supports its very existence and feeds absolutely everything about the ongoing project that it is, and that is the spirit of inclusion. This is a "no spectator" event, where you can't exist solely as an observer of the experience but rather must participate in it, which you do fundamentally by sharing in the act of surviving and thriving in beautifully harsh and sometimes dangerous conditions together with 50,000 of your fellow citizens of this temporary city.

This shared experience is the heart that feeds the uniqueness of this weeklong event. In the default world we drive on roads together, stand in lines together, sleep in adjacent rooms, ride in elevators, eat in restaurants, etc etc etc, but we move past each other most of the time without connection. When we challenge ourselves together in this way something fundamental changes. We suddenly feel the common experience as a collective rather than an individual, as a compassionate equal to the person next to us and to the collective body made up by all the persons around us, and we see them, ourselves, and everything in front of our eyes as being connected, vibrant, approachable and profoundly energetic. We become one, pulsing and flowing together, and we nurture the tiniest pieces and the immense whole of it all by just being there.

You don't just drive up to Burning Man and consume it like everything else you do in the default world, it's not a drive-in movie or an art show at a gallery or a festival of any kind or anything else that is presented "for" you. You create Burning Man with everyone else who steps out onto that playa, and it then begins to re-create you. The important thing to remember is that this collective life form is created on and in that vast, empty and silent landscape for one glorious week of the year, vanishing away into nothingness again after the last citizen leaves. It is a massive experiment in a temporary community based on self-reliance and the mutual nurturing of life and common values. And it's working.

The second core tenet that makes Burning Man so unique is radical self expression. That is, you can be anyone and anything you choose to be when on the playa, whether that takes its form in your clothing (or lack thereof) or your art, or your camp, or your bike or art car or the lights you put on yourself so you can be seen at night, or even just your state of mind. Burning Man is about creating and nurturing anything that serves to express your contribution to the shared experience. Some apply that philosophy to the construction of massive art installations several stories high, spewing fire or spinning, twisting and reshaping themselves on hinges, pulleys and cables into ever changing shapes created by the wind or the hands of the citizens who walk by and experience them through touch. These majestic and perplexing works of art are created by groups of passionate burners who donate their time and energies just to put something unique on the playa. There are no placards giving credit, no instruction manuals, no price tags, nothing. The art simply is there, just like you.

The third core tenet of Burning Man is that it is a consumer-free event. No money changes hands in Black Rock City. Nothing is sold, except for ice and coffee, throughout the entire event. You can't buy a tissue, a bandaid, a pancake, a trinket, a battery, a hat or a bottle of water anywhere, and yet you can get any of those and much more if you simply ask for it. Burning Man is a community of gifting, of providing for one another and for the whole, and its citizens take that responsibility to heart. As you walk through the dust someone will offer you a handful of nuts, a spritz from their water bottle, a tube of chapstick, a slice of bacon, a lollipop, a patch for your bike tire, a drink of booze, or merely a hug. Entire camps are set up to provide whatever you may need, whether it's a massage or spiritual counseling or a handcrafted trinket. Gifting feeds the love and respect that permeates the massive city, and protects and inspires its citizens.

Because Burning Man is created by its citizens, it has never called itself a festival, but rather a project, equal parts fun and labour. That project had its humble beginnings in June of 1986, when two people created the first wooden structure in the rough shape of a man and erected it on a beach in San Francisco in honor of the summer solstice and a handful of personal resolutions. When they ignited the man in a gesture of the temporary nature of existence, the spectacle drew a handful of curious bystanders. They all felt something that couldn't be put into words, and when the decision was made to repeat the event the next year, history was made.

From that moment forward, without the imposition of agenda or requirement or rules or needs, people responded to the primal attraction of the collective spontaneous experience and were drawn to the event in throngs. No one needed to know why, just when and where. Word spread and the event began doubling in size and scope every year, until it had to be moved to a bigger, more remote location. Today Burning Man is a city with its own airport and a population of over 50,000, all existing for one brief week in that vast nothingness of the Black Rock Desert. The rest of the year the playa is empty and silent, and shockingly without trace of the city that lived there.

The Bureau of Land Management, which protects and maintains the natural environment of the Black Rock Desert, repeatedly gives Burning Man the highest rating possible for its lack of impact on nature. The BLM has called Burning Man the single greatest "Leave No Trace" event in the world. This happens because the Burning Man community self-enforces the Leave No Trace policy, ensuring that every citizen exits the playa with everything they brought into it, including every piece of paper, plastic, tissue, banana peel or drop of water that came in with them. No trash cans are provided at Burning Man, so if you are walking about and you eat a banana, that peel stays with you until you place it in your garbage back back at your camp. And that garbage bag stays with you until you get back home, or find a suitable receptacle for it along the way, miles from the playa.

The condition of the playa is manically respected by the citizens of Black Rock City. Even water is not poured out onto the playa except in the smallest amounts. If you are smart enough to bring a camp shower - which you will adore more than kids adore cookies after just one day there - the water generated by the shower is collected in flat "evap" pools of plastic that sit in the sun to evaporate. And if it doesn't evaporate, it has to go into a container and travel back out with you. Not even a crumb of food is left on the playa, as the citizens continuously look for "MOOP", or Matter Out Of Place, and pick it up and take it with them when they find it. The inevitably missed MOOP, or the traces left by the few citizens who fail to respect the Leave No Trace philosophy, are meticulously cleaned up by the Burning Man organization for weeks after the event, returning the playa to its pristine condition.

The city is set up by the Burning Man organization for weeks before the event, which places street signs and markers delineating a series of "streets" and "avenues" arranged in concentric circles with the Man at the center. The circle streets are labeled with letters from A to J with the radial avenues labeled as time markers on a clock face. So your camp might be located at 4:20 and E, or 6:00 and H. To find your camp, you ride your dusty, beat up and wildly decorated bike up to an intersection and look for the small street sign, then attempt to orient yourself to which way the numbers and letters are going up or down, and navigate to the next intersection to see if you're going in the right direction and continue from there. Or you abandon this logical approach and merely look around for that huge scaffolding or art installation set up by that camp near you and try to find your way to it, or find yourself at that camp with the glass blower or furry swing set and try to remember which way you went the last time you passed them. Or better yet, you just ask someone where you are, and then hope you remember their answer after you have the few drinks they offer you in exchange for conversation, hugs and community spirit.

That spirit, the hugs, the conversation, the drinks and the furry swing set are everywhere you look in every direction at every moment at Burning Man. The city is a cacophony of stimuli for every one of your senses, and your heart races with the attempt to absorb it all. You calculate your survival and then you dive into the pulsing beast of extreme expression, letting yourself be tossed along the waves of creativity, trusting in the community and your own sense of adventure. You head toward Center Camp, where the organizers provide ice for your dehydrated brain, and hours later you find yourself at 2:something and some letter, conversing with a group of Germans or Aussies or New Yorkers or Okies about that art installation way over there somewhere or the best way to keep your skin from cracking or where you can get some extra baby wipes and a private place to take a quick mini clean up, or how to make the best bloody mary on the playa, or simply who you are and how much you love each other for just being there together and offering hugs for no reason other than, well, it's hot and let's hug for the hotness of it all.

It is a walkabout, a roam, a pilgrimage. It is extreme in every way, and it is a permanent fixture in the lives of those who make their way there. The spirit of Burning Man has inspired hundreds of regional events throughout the year along with community service organizations and disaster response teams. Burners remain burners all year long, even as they impatiently await the chance to return "home" at the end of the next summer.

But still, no amount of description can capture this gloriously and naturally evolving event in the minds of a reader. If you had never ridden a roller coaster and someone explained every detail of what it's like to ride a roller coaster to you, you would still have no idea what it is like to ride a roller coaster until you rode a roller coaster for yourself. This is true for Burning Man. When you approach Burning Man for the first time you are considered a virgin, and when you enter it you have lost that virginity forever. It is an apt label, as the experience you have is unlike anything you thought it was going to be, and it forever transforms you. I lost my Burning Man virginity in 2011, the 25th year of its existence.

During the 2011 event, a 22 ton Trojan Horse sat on the Playa with a system of ladders and platforms for citizens to walk inside, leading to a bar up in the horse's head. The wheels of the platform that held the horse were ten feet tall. It was a staggering work of art, made entirely of wood, and it burned in a orgiastic display of hot, hot, hot flames on Friday night. The crowd was rowdy and amazed, cheering wildly as pieces of the horse dropped to the ground in the inferno. You had to shield your face from the heat, but you couldn't take your eyes off of the fire. It was the first big burn of the week and it sent the city into a two day frenzy.

Saturday night was the burning of the Man. Fifty three thousand citizens surrounded the Man and watched the multiple explosions engulf its base and body, destroying the effigy quickly and dramatically. The burning of the Man is the central moment of the event each year, and it gathers every ounce of communal energy and sends it up with those flames. It is awesome, and it ignites an all night party in the desert. It simply must be experienced to be understood.

Sunday witnesses the exodus of many thousands of citizens, leaving the city with about half of its population. It is a calmer day, as the city prepares for what is considered the most spiritual burn of the week, the culmination of it all, the burning of the Temple of Transition. 2011 saw the tallest Temple ever built on the playa, a 120 foot multitiered beautiful structure with arched walkways allowing access to two levels throughout the four buildings. It was built to invite citizens to leave markings and gifts in honor of lost loved ones, or any expression of pain, longing or desire, which would then vanish in the fiery transition to embers and ash on the final night of the weeklong event.

By 8pm Sunday night, about 25 thousand Black Rock citizens ringed the Temple. It was a subdued mood, a somber preparation for the biggest burn to ever occur at Burning Man, and one that would involve the heartfelt gestures of thousands. When the organizers turned off the spotlights that illuminated the Temple, plunging it into milky darkness, the crowd fell silent.

Then the fire began. No explosions, no fireworks, no sound. Just a small fire at the base of one of the four buildings. Soon, the entire structure was overtaken by immense columns of blistering fire in the center of a ring of silent witnesses, participants all. Every one of us knew what was burning, and we had no words to say. We stood in the deep playa in the middle of nowhere under a cloud of stars in awe of this moment, with the only sound being the crackle and rush of the burn. At one point the wind drew a shower of millions of embers over us and onto the playa around us and in between us, with only a few moving away for safety. There was no cheering, nothing. Just the fire and our breathing, and the ancient playa holding us up on weak knees. It was an endlessly humbling moment, and it sealed the deal for me.

I get it now, the whole burner thing. I'm now a Black Rock citizen, and I await the next chance I get to go home. I've told you two percent of my Burning Man experience, and about zero point zero zero zero two percent of whatever yours may be. And yet, you and I are equals. The burner mentality pits no one above anyone else. It's a modern day hippie mentality, proactively compassionate and in search of peaceful co-existence. All of us who have been out there on the playa were once virgins, we simply threw that virginity away in an ecstatic gesture of participation in an ongoing adventure. And none of us would ever take it back.

I now love Burning Man, like tens upon tens of thousands of others. I love the playa, I love the experiment of temporary self-sustaining community, I love that dust that still falls off my glow-in-the-dark bracelet. And I love life just a little bit more.

Maybe I'll see you next year in the dust, back home.

- Jeff Consiglio, September 8, 2011

Burning Man 2011

2011-09-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

I decided to try and get my pictures up quickly this year. Thus, although all the images are there and ready to view, I'll probably be adding more comments over time. I want to add links to other interesting items and tid-bits that might be worth looking at. But in the meantime, I am pleased with my day-shots and grateful that I took the time to actually use the camera more this year. Enjoy!

Burning Man 2011

A Precious Visit

2011-08-23T16:57:00.000-07:00

My brother and his wife came to visit and brought my favorite niece with them.

Bumper cars for grown-ups

2011-08-23T16:33:00.000-07:00

My friend DaNay took me to my first demolition derby at the Johnson County fair. It was more fun than I expected and actually quite a stress-reliever to watch cars pound into each other.

GenCon2012

2011-08-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

It never fails that when I first walk in the door from a long trip, my mind is boiling with lots of details that I want to share. Yet I'm so exhausted that I decide to wait a day or two to let my life return to normal before sifting through pictures and putting it all together. Then, by the time I'm actually at the keyboard, all the cool stories are completely wiped from my memory and all I have left are a few unimpressive pictures.

Here below are those meager images for your perusal.

FYI, I do want to state again that I had a ton of fun at OrcStomp -- the 5K run that I participated in at this convention. I am enjoying running a lot and I now want to sign up for some more races nearby. Once I figure out a plan, I'll post something so maybe a few of you will join me!

Cooking Day July 2011

2011-07-31T18:16:00.000-07:00

We had another really productive day yesterday, even though we were trying to do less than last time. I've uploaded a few pictures.

KantCon 2011

2011-07-14T16:47:00.000-07:00

So I haven't had time to really absorb everything from the weekend, but KantCon this year was awesome! I was so busy having fun, that I didn't take many pictures again this year, but the best of what I did take is available in my web album: KantCon 2011.

If you were there and have feedback, please fill out an evaluation form. Several of the organizers will be meeting this weekend to talk about how to make next year even better.

Still running

2011-06-06T07:20:00.000-07:00

So most of my training so far has been inside and on an elliptical machine (because that's what we happen to have at home). I was a little worried that this might skew things for me because I know that elliptical is really nothing like actual running. However, I decided to keep with it because of two primary reasons: 1) It was an excuse to keep exercising and add some structure to my routine. 2) Even if I couldn't actually run, I figured this would increase my endurance; especially since when I'm on the machine my 'walking' periods are more like jogging and my 'run' periods are almost at my top speed.

This weekend I finally did my first test outside and on the pavement. I managed to coax my husband to come along since I was still in the first week of C25k and more than half the time is spent walking anyway. We headed out to the park and around the joggling trail there, and it was so easy! I think that the elliptical really is building up my endurance because I never really felt tired until about the last run segment. I did feel a little bit of pressure on my shins, but that's because my running shoes are about a year old and have never been used for real running before. I think with some new shoes, I will be set.

Now that the weather is so nice, my hope is to run outside at least once a week and maybe even more once I continue to adjust to waking up early. I am encouraged, because I feel that this 5K thing could really be in reach!

My Goal to run a 5K

2011-05-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, so when I learned about Orc Stomp last week, it was the final straw to urge me into some sort of running program since I have been considering doing that for awhile. I have never been much of a runner, but I do feel like it is better for my body than simply walking and I figure if a bunch of other geeks can do it, then so can I. Besides, I have also been thinking about some sort of "structure" to add to my exercise routines so a 'Couch to 5K' deal along with some weight lifting seemed like a good start.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been doing interval training on the elliptical machine every morning for 20 minutes. I did a test run of the first session of the Couch to 5k schedule on Saturday to see how it would go -- It felt great! Unfortunately, I spent the rest of the day Saturday doing rigorous yard-work and nearly threw out my back. So yesterday was a big REST and planning day. I talked with my husband on what kind of weight training to do. He has done some lifting in the past and put together a nice schedule for me which starts with a couple of weeks of simple strengthening exercises before I actually pick up a serious weight. (I am a big weakling.)

The plan is to lift on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; run on Tuesdays, Thursday and Saturdays; and rest on Sunday. This works best with my current work and sleep schedule and will hopefully make it easier to stick with for the long term.

This morning I did 90 sit-ups, 18 push-ups (yes on my knees 'cause I'm a girl), 24 squats and 24 calf raises. My legs can already feel a little burn, but I'm sure that will pass in time.

Wish me luck! I'll hopefully keep this site updated as I progress. Feel free to bug me now and then if you want to know how it's going. You know -- accountability and all that. ;)

Sucker Punch

2011-03-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of discussion in my circles lately about Sucker Punch, which I saw this weekend, and I want to express my opinion too. Before I get into too much detail, let me state upfront that that this was NOT an awesome flick that should be applauded by all, but just that it can be enjoyed and may be worth your time and money if you know what you're getting in to. I personally rate it a 7 out of 10. For comparison, my rating for Watchmen is 9 and Transformers a 4.

I bring up Transformers because it is an example I use for comparison. Many critics have said that Sucker Punch fails to provide a deep story or interesting characters and relies heavily on action sequences. That is how I feel about Transformers -- even though there are characters you are supposed to relate to and possibly a story you should care about, I just didn't get all that. To me, Transformers was just a bunch of great special effects tied together with a shoe-string story where the audience can smile and eat their popcorn. This is not necessarily a bad thing because I really enjoy a simple, action-filled popcorn movie from time to time.

And in many ways, this is probably a big reason why I did enjoy Sucker Punch. The action sequences made me smile, even though I could see that the special effects budget was limited (Some sequences looked about a decade behind). But where else are you going to see one film that has Nazis, undead, orcs, dragons, androids, and girls kicking ass all in one place?

Yet there was enough of a story that resonated with me personally that helped me get into the film. Being female, I often feel an inner struggle between the contempt at being idolized physically and a desire to embrace sexuality. Keep in mind most of the story we see on the screen is actually the inner mind of one of characters, which I felt characterized this womanly struggle. However, one of the draw-backs of the movie is that only by paying very close attention do we get any clue of what happened in the 'real' world versus what is just going on in someone's head. I think much of the audience has confused what was supposed to be fantasy with what should be considered real. A better written screenplay might have distinguished the multiple 'worlds' more clearly to the viewer. If you can successfully separate the story elements, I think it makes for a more enjoyable experience.

Finally, I think it is helpful to know going in that this movie has some very dark and depressing overtones, similar in my mind to Saving Private Ryan. There are lots of struggles along the way; in the end things are mostly happy, but there are many defeats as well. With a war movie like Saving Private Ryan, your expectations are correctly set ahead of time that allow you accept a certain amount of cringing and crying. However, I don't believe that Sucker Punch sets itself up appropriately for a similar amount of tragedy. You have been warned.

Vacation for Fun!

2011-03-22T20:05:00.001-07:00

So one of our first big trips this year was to PAX East in Boston, MA. I have a few pictures to share: PAX East 2010.

Yes, I know this site has been quiet for awhile. Work has kept me busy, but I intend to change things soon.

Cooking Day Oct. 2010

2010-10-21T15:06:00.000-07:00

The family got together this past weekend for a long over-due cooking day. I was at my sister's house from about 8:30am until 10:30pm with only the briefest of breaks through-out the day. We ended up with enough food for 92 meals -- definitely the most we've made in one day before. I'm still trying to recover, so it will be a long time before we go at it again.

Burning Man 2010

2010-09-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

The trip has been over for four and half days now and I finally found the time to go through the photographs. I tried to add captions and comments to the web album, so I hope you can make sense of these images. Burning Man just can't be described. Even though a picture is worth 1,000 words, these pictures don't do the event justice.

KantCon was awesome!

2010-07-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

It's hard to recapture all the cool things that happened at KantCon over the weekend. Basically, I went in to this both hopeful and nervous, and I came out exuberant and exhausted. I am really excited about the prospects for next year and I hope I can be just a little more involved and helpful. While I was there, I kept forgetting that I had a camera with me. Even when I did remember it was there, I would pick it up only rarely, so I have very few photos to share. They don't do the experience justice.

For all of you who ignored my spams about this event, I feel sorry for you. You missed out on some serious fun. Maybe next year you will heed my pleas.

Pool Party

2010-07-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

So Sandra and Eric finally held a big pool party at their new house over the holiday weekend. Luckily, Jason and Amy were able to come up and attend, so Savannah was there too. I haven't had time to add captions and create an interesting post with description or anything yet, so here are just the raw photos.

Waffling

2010-06-26T04:28:00.000-07:00

I never really considered myself indecisive, but I have to admit that this whole job situation has really been challenging me. At this point, I do believe that it will be better for me in the long run to go ahead with the new position. Now it is just a matter of timing. How long can I squeeze out some extra money from the old place until I jump ship? Is there even an amount of money that is worth it? These are the questions I ponder while my stomach roils from all the stress.

Change is hard.

Work

2010-06-11T12:32:00.000-07:00

I finally have a few minutes to breathe, so I thought I should explain the latest regarding my job situation. Let me start at the beginning. I have stayed at my current job for primarily four reasons (in order of importance): 1) the people, 2) the work, 3) the benefits, and 4) the location. Starting with reason number three, things have been deteriorating. The economic crises has hit the financial industry pretty hard, and my company particularly so. Our benefits have steadily declined and without any raise or bonus for more than a year, this means my salary has effectively decreased as well. So that is one less reason to stay.

Obviously, since I rank people as the most important reason to stay at my job, you can tell how much I value working with a team that I can respect and get along with. As the state of our company became more and more precarious, at first many people were let go and now many are leaving on their own. Over the last four and half years I have had the privilege for working under the best manager I've yet known. Once my boss decided to leave, I knew that things were going to get worse for me. This has all but eliminated another reason to stay. (There are still a few coworkers around that I really like.)

The hammer finally came when the powers that be decided I needed a promotion. So now even reason number two is in jeopardy as I’m forced to be doing a job that I didn’t want and don’t enjoy. Basically, they promoted me along with a few other coworkers so we could take over the work that my manager and one other manager used to be doing. They didn’t ask any of us if we wanted the position or the responsibility. I’ve never made any noises about going into management. I had pretty much assumed I would not enjoy that type of work, and now I know for sure.

The pressure is pretty tough. The responsibility is heavy. The raise (that came with the promotion) is not enough to compensate. Thus, I am updating my resume and reestablishing contact with some references. In the meantime, I hope my friends can be understanding if I’m more frazzled, forgetful and edgy lately.

Savannah

2010-05-31T15:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I got a chance to go meet my new niece briefly this weekend. She kept our hands so busy, we didn't get to take as many pictures as I would have liked. But I have uploaded a few.

Jason promises to have many more online soon. However, I don't think that's going to happen until he gets a full nights sleep in a few months. ;)

And the big news is...

2010-05-18T19:18:00.000-07:00

I'm an aunt!

Please welcome Savannah Joy Ayers to the family. Here she is with my proud baby brother.

More details to come

Struggling to find the words

2010-05-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

Things have been quiet on my blog for awhile. This is partly because nothing really exciting has happened lately. (Although I hope to have some big news tomorrow; cross your fingers.) But it is also partly because I am still dealing with the death of Kendall.

I have been struggling with this voice in my head that keeps telling me enough time has passed and I should get on with life already. Well, yes, of course I am getting on with life. But my heart keeps yearning for that part of life that included Kendall, and I hate feeling that big hole left behind. I don't really know what the protocol is for this kind of scenario. I don't want to burden my other friends with what seems like a weakness on my part, but I also am too stubborn to just let go. How often is it appropriate to mention his name? What etiquette should be used to refer to his death? Should I force down my tears? Do I force myself to laugh more?

I don't believe there are any right or wrong answers. Really, it's about finding that balance that is right for me and my circle of friends and family. So this is my open letter to all of you -- I'm still grappling with these questions so if you have a suggestion/preference/comments/anything -- please let me know what you think.

Stop and smell the flowers

2010-04-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted an update. Mostly it's because I was waiting for life to return to "normal". I think enough time has passed that I'm finally realizing I'm already in a NEW normal. I am certainly not as sad anymore; at least most of the time. Something will pop up every now and then that brings tears to my eyes, but I've come to appreciate those as precious reminders. I still miss my friend Kendall, but at least I know that he will always be a part of my life.

There have been at least three good things that I can specifically point to as direct outcomes of this painful experience. The first thing is that a friend of a friend was considering a similar end, but because of things we've been posting and saying about Kendall, this person was rescued. I don't even know who this person is or the details around the situation, but if even one life can be saved, then that gives me hope for a brighter tomorrow. I can only dream that more people read these posts and find ways to reach out to others around them -- be it to ask for help or to offer help. Strengthening the bonds between us is a lofty goal in and of itself and I'm glad to be even a small part of that.

Another good thing that I have taken away from this experience is a vivid reminder of how blessed I am. I have one of the greatest families on earth and a bunch of really awesome friends. I am still receiving messages and words of encouragement, even when I least expect it. This has strengthened me so much lately and helped me face this ordeal in ways I couldn't have foreseen. I know I wouldn't be the person I am today without this network of love and support behind me, but it is nice to actually feel those bonds so distinctly from time to time.

And finally, as a result of this gloomy ordeal, I have changed some priorities in my life. My friends and family have always been important to me before, but now I have a big urge to give back. When I think about helping and interacting with people, instead of a weighty feeling of responsibility, there is now a sense of joy. I want to keep spreading this closeness and hopefully continue sharing the warmth and love that has been given to me lately. And just as those occasional bouts of tears help me to remember my friend Kendall, I hope they also continue to remind me of all the great friends and family that I have.

Thank you, Kendall, for all the fond memories and all good things you've brought into my life now. I still wish you could have stayed.

Life marches on

2010-03-22T12:16:00.001-07:00

The emotional carousel is starting to slow down. I do still have flare-ups from time to time, but they are farther apart now and less severe. Yet there is a part of me that doesn't want things to go back to 'normal'. Just like when my grandfather died, there this intensity about life now -- the relative importance of things is in sharp focus for the moment and I don't want to lose that. I don't want to go back to a daily existence where everything blurs and people keep their distance. I haven't really figured out how to maintain that focus or what I should do about it, but I'm hoping I can make it a new 30 day challenge of some sort.

So this is like a warning, or notice to all my friends -- I may be asking to spend more time with you soon.

On a completely unrelated note, I have started taking Tai Chi classes. When I signed up, I thought we would be taught the moves that I've seen groups of people doing together as a sort of exercise. I have since come to learn that Tai Chi also includes a lot of meditation and relaxation exercises that have been somewhat helpful to me in my grief. I am glad that I have this respite to look forward to each Saturday morning.

Still recovering

2010-03-17T06:11:00.000-07:00

Well, each day has been a little bit better in some ways; and also worse at some points. Although I have experienced death before, and truly did feel grief for my grandparents, this is the first time that someone I saw on a regular basis has perished. This time, I feel like I'm on a merry-go-round with the stages of grief: As soon as I think I'm finally at 'acceptance', something pops up and I'm back to denial. He can't really be gone!

Yesterday I met his mother and brother for the first time. It was both frustrating and somewhat of a relief that they were asking all of the same questions we have been. Were there any signs? Did he say anything to you? Did anything unusual happen recently? It is such a shame that no one knew Kendall well enough to have insight into his state of mind recently. But at least we are all on the same page in our bereavement, and as selfish as it may sound, it reassures me that there most likely wasn't anything I could have done to help.

Yesterday I also looked for pictures of Kendall. I didn't think I had any, but Justin reminded me that he was at Thanksgiving with my family many times and I often take photos at family gatherings. Sure enough, there he was -- just fourth months ago, hanging out and playing games with us. So the carousel swooped around to depression with that image.

Now I'm just trying to hold it together, waiting for this emotional merry-go-round to stop spinning. Hopefully, when things finally come to a stand-still I can think about my friend without hurting so bad and manage to find a way to remember him in happiness.

In memory

2010-03-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

I have received so many words of comfort from family, friends and even coworkers these past two days, that I can't help but to feel better. The biggest thing is that they have helped me to move beyond regrets. Yes there may have been things that I could have done or said, but this was Kendall's decision that only he could understand. Now I'm just to the point where I miss my friend. Kendall taught me to appreciate haiku, so in his honor, I attempted a few stanzas:

geek book collector
Samurai at heart
complex card player

caffeine veined coder
strictly lawful alignment
unique strategist

wry and dark humor
gamer and story teller
beret wearing friend

Sorrow

2010-03-12T05:03:00.000-08:00

Another person that I cared about has passed away. This time it wasn't family. It was a friend that I thought I knew pretty well. A friend that has been struggling to find a job for awhile. A friend that evidently didn't see any more hope or reason for living. A friend that I now wish I could have done more for.

This kind of pain is awkward. I am struggling to get my head around it. How can I begin to accept his death when I don't understand why he would take his own life? How do I begin to move on when I keep thinking that I could have shown more appreciation; I could have called more; I could have done SOMETHING that might have made a difference.

One thing is for sure -- I want to try and be a more direct person. Justin is right: when I see a person in need, or in pain, I usually beat around the bush and timidly proffer help. I act standoff-ish in my self-righteous attempt to protect privacy. Well screw that. I care about my friends and I don't want anyone else thinking that there isn't a better answer. I will go to the ends of the earth to help find a better answer.

Kendall: I am so sorry that I couldn't be there for you. I am so sorry that you felt the game was over. You provided some great games for the rest of us. I only hope that you've moved on to a better game. I hope you can find some peace and happiness finally. I'll miss you.

It only comes every 4 years

2010-02-25T06:04:00.000-08:00

Well, if you count both summer and winter, it's really every two years. I guess you know that I am talking about the Olympics. I am one of those Olympic junkies. I love watching them. If I had more time, I would watch just about every event. I even love to watch a lot of those background stories -- hearing about the grueling training or whatever obstacle the athlete has had to overcome to make it this far. It's just one of those quirks that I don't apologize for.

Anyway, since I didn't really look ahead on the calendar and pay attention to when the Olympics were versus when I would be working on my next 30 day challenge, things have kind of fallen completely off track. Considering how many hours the Olympics are actually broadcast during each day and how much time I have to watch them each night, it's been difficult to keep up. As it stands, I am usually a day behind -- so be careful when you talk to me, because I don't want to know who won gold yet!

Life should return to normal next week, so I will once again resume some creativity tasks. This particular challenge has had the most interruptions so far, but it has still been rewarding. I have learned a lot about how to formulate a 30 day challenge that works best for me, and I'll be tweaking things in the future accordingly. I'll explain more details about that in an upcoming post.

In the meantime, I'm just enjoying the thrill of victory (yay Evan!) and the agony of defeat (sorry team Canada).

The missing week

2010-02-09T19:16:00.000-08:00

So I am finally sitting down to write an update about my Creativity challenge. This is exactly one week later than I planned to be writing this update. The reason for the delay is nothing more than yet another example of my human frailty -- I got sick again. This time it was just a cold. Well, a cold that felt like a ton of bricks inside my sinuses, like dragging by body around under water, like trying to think with only 3 hours sleep -- that kind of cold. Anyway, while I was 'under the weather', I tried to continue my creativity schedule, but things kind of got jumbled up. I mean, that whole week is kind of blur in my memory already.

Excuses aside, I am back on track. I have done some sewing -- mostly going through my stack of 'to do': the missing-button, the needs-to-be-hemmed, the patch-a-hole, etc. I also got some reading done and of course, when you're sick, what else are you going to do except sit and watch a bunch of TV and movies? But tonight I am writing. Not only this (pretty worthless) update, but I also wrote a letter to a relative and updated our gaming website. Maybe not the most exciting stuff, but this is just a start.

Painting and/or drawing is on the schedule for tomorrow. Maybe I'll post a picture of it.

On the nature of family

2010-01-29T14:39:00.000-08:00

After attending my grandad's funeral this week, I came home and have been pondering several contrasting feelings since then. First, there is this sense of a return to normalcy. Coming home and seeing that the familiar things are still the same -- the world continues to move along just as before. Yet, there was a change -- at least inside me -- and so things are not quite the same as before. It's like a strange veil has been pulled down over everything I see. I know things are basically the same, but my interpretation is different. I again remember what is truly important in life. I now have a buffer that softens the impact of problems at work. It's just work after all. I still have my friends, family, and health.

Second, I got the opportunity to visit with some family I haven't seen in a long, long time. Sometimes it seems weird to be with these people you don't really know, trying to hold a conversation; "How've you been?"; "Watcha up to lately?"; etc. Yet, at the same time, you can sit with these people and there is this unspoken understanding; this shared experience that bonds and brings you together. We might not know each other very well, but yet we can come to a place and a time and hug each other closely and know that we get it.

It's that kind of relationship I want to make sure I have with all my close friends. I treat most of them like family already. Yet often I defer to some strange societal preference for privacy and distance. As if the people I choose to hang out with should be treated like customers or professional contacts. Well, I hope to change that. It will be a focus for me in my next 30 day challenge.

Which reminds me, creativity is still in the works. Day 1 kicks off today!

The Unexpected

2010-01-25T12:39:00.000-08:00

No matter how much you organize and plan, life will still throw you curveballs. I received two this week that has continued to delay my creativity plan. The first curve came with the flu; fever and all. This also has put a pause on my daily exercise routine. But I know that I will get back into the grove and am not worried about that.

The second surprise is that my grandad passed away this weekend. Well, I have to be honest, it wasn't a complete and total surprise. About a week ago, the doctor said to bring all the family home; it was just a matter of time. So as I am trying to recover from a stomach bug, I had to wake up at 3:30am to get to the airport for a 6:00am flight out to be with my relatives in time for the funeral.

This is my paternal grandfather; my dad's dad. I just wanted to take a minute and write a few thoughts -- memories, more or less -- about him. He's the only relative who tried to teach me to fish. He instilled that sense of calm -- waiting on nature to bite -- in everything he did. His golden retriever, Buddy, was the only dog I ever really liked. His skill and love for cards has been inherited by his son, who has tried to pass it on to the rest of us. Playing pinochle with my grandad is one of the family traditions I will always cherish. But what I think I loved most was his laugh -- a sudden burst of joy that would ripple throughout those around him.

We love you Grandaddy; and miss you dearly.

Bumpy again

2010-01-22T18:57:00.000-08:00

Well, the creativity challenge has had a very rocky start. I knew this week was going to be rough because of the craziness going on at work, but I wanted to see how well I could handle it all. The evidence lies in the two ruined dice bags now laying the trash can –- I tried to do some sewing but my brain was so fried, that I kept forgetting important steps and wound up with scraps.

So, in the end, I am not going to give myself a true ‘day 1’ credit until hopefully tomorrow. As usual with these small set-backs, I will not let myself give up. I have still been trying to do what I can (which is mostly watching TV shows and listening to audio books) until I can really put the full plan into action. Things are starting to finally settle down at the office, so I am hoping that I can follow through with my roleplaying plans for tomorrow.

Cross your fingers

Challenge: creativity

2010-01-15T20:14:00.000-08:00

Well it's past time for me to put my next challenge into action. I've been taking a little longer than usual because this plan is kind of complicated. When I asked for some feedback on which item to work on next, I only got two responses. They were both for creativity.

As it so happens, creativity was one that I threw into the list on a whim. Oh, it's definitely something I wanted to improve at some point, but I hadn't really expected it come up so soon. Yet I did include it in the list, so I might as well follow through now rather than later. Besides, this gives me a chance to work on something fun for a change.

At least, I think this will be fun. I have been discovering that it will be a lot of work too. Coming up with a plan to be creative a little bit every day for 30 days is no small thing. Figuring out how I’m going to ‘measure’ and ‘monitor’ isn’t easy either. When do you know you’ve been creative enough?

So I’m going focus on the doing and the output and let you be the judge in the end. Part of the accountability will not only be to post my progress, but to also include at least one ‘creative’ post a week. Now, the version of ‘creative’ in my head may be a little loose at this point – I’m just starting out after all. My goal is to write something a little more meaty than my usual fair of late. Again, hopefully my friends and family will be reading and help me judge after 30 days.

So what is this ‘plan’ you ask? Well, there’s an activity scheduled for each day of the week. Some activities will be concrete – create a drawing, painting; write something – and some activities will be to stimulate. My hope is that I can spend at least 30 minutes on the given activity for any day. That is a lot more time than I’ve put into any challenge so far, but part of me feels that it isn’t enough. Again, I don’t want to stretch myself too far when trying something new, so 30 minutes will have to do.

This is the schedule that will officially start next Monday, 1/18/10:

Monday: Planning, reading and relaxation: The week begins with planning the details of the rest of the week based on what has been accomplished so far, and adjusting for normal life schedule shifts. Also, I hope to spend some time this night reading or listening to audio books.
Tuesday: Create: This will hopefully consist of sewing dice bags, painting, drawing, or writing. I may also start working on a costume for Burning Man.
Wednesday: Create: Another night to compliment Tuesday with a different activity. For example, if I sew on Tuesday, then Wednesday I have to draw or write.
Thursday: Game: I already have DnD every other week on Thursday nights, and this is definitely a fun and creative activity. On off weeks I now have to read something gaming related or work on writing/refining my own adventures.
Friday: Celebrate my spouse: This may not sound creative, but I think Justin is a great source of inspiration and it is important to appreciate that aspect of our relationship. Fridays will be a sort of ‘date night’ if you will.
Saturday: Celebrate friends: Similar to my spouse, having good relationships with friends is a source of inspiration for personal creativity. Again, this day already is scheduled with gaming every other week. So now on off weeks I will try to plan additional activities like movies or dinner out with friends.
Sunday: Watch: Sunday has always been my day to sort of veg out and drain all the stress from the week. As I discovered when I first started my exercise challenge, I can’t plan anything too involved for this day or it will be doomed for failure. So the idea is to spend some time on Sunday watching movies and/or TV, which will hopefully provide more fuel for the imagination.

So anyone have any last minute comments before I start this adventure in a few days?

Christmas Pictures

2010-01-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

Finally posted: Christmas Album.

Wheeling and Dealing

2010-01-10T16:36:00.000-08:00

One of the great gifts my family received this year for Christmas is a customized game of Monopoly. Now, this is not your city-specific version that you can often find in airport gift shops. No, this is a personally created version -- specialized content printed out on stickers and put onto a normal playing board. Thus, there was an Angela's Avenue property available for me to buy. Plus, one of the Chance card stated that everyone takes a trip to the Robertson theatre, so 'pay Justin and Angie $10 each'. How great is that?

The only difficult part is the fact that Monopoly has been banned from our family for many, many years. This is due to our incessant arguing over when someone can negotiate with someone else and what constitutes a valid negotiation. Well, that's just the tip of the iceberg really.

So we tried to put aside our nit-picking nature and actually played a game together which made us laugh in spite of ourselves. Here's a link so some pictures: Ayersopoly

UPDATE: Link fixed

Next Challenge?

2010-01-07T12:30:00.000-08:00

So my current challenges are still going well. My exercising is practically a real habit at this point. I've caught myself a few mornings, just rolling right into the routine. A big victory! As for the eating slowly, this is taking longer to really sink in. I am starting to notice a difference, but it's not quite where I had hoped to be at this point. I am not going to give up, since I can see things improving. Determination has payed off so far!

So if you like to see charts/graphs, remember you can check up on my progress at Daytum. I'm on day 27 of the eating slow challenge, so it's time to start preparing for a new one. The problem is, I don't know for sure what I want to do next. Here are a few I am considering:

Waking earlier
Thinking positive
Smiling more
Creativity

What would you choose and/or recommend?

Christmas Songs

2009-12-24T09:21:00.000-08:00

Others appear to be doing it, so I might as well -- links to some of my favorite Christmas songs. I have two that get me every time: Carol of Bells, for a fun, light-hearted feeling, and O Holy Night, for a serious, heart-warming feeling. I especially love Carol of the Bells when it is done by a hand-bell choir. Growing up watching the Claymation Christmas special, I have to link to one of the best versions out there: Claymation Carol of the Bells.

And yes, I know I just said that O Holy Night is my more serious favorite song, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate a fun version song by Eric Cartman.

When viewing so many other people's favorites, I came across this one song by a British guy I've never heard of. The music isn't extraordinary, but I like the words and the sentiment.

Merry Christmas everyone

Usual holiday blahs

2009-12-18T06:41:00.000-08:00

Every year by early November, I am psyching myself up for the holidays. Usually, I am finishing up my Christmas shopping (I try to be done before Thanksgiving) and trying to get into some kind of shape to be ready for all the food. Yet despite all my supposed planning and preparation, every year around late December I am scrambling for some last minute gifts and moaning about a few extra pounds I've put on. This year is no different even though I am trying my best to stay positive. I have kept up with the daily exercise routine and I'm making a little progress on the slow eating front, but yet I still find myself stressed, frazzled, and overwhelmed with too much food and things to get done.

Somehow, I plan to make next year different. My goal is to keep up with the 30 day challenges and slowly improve my life one aspect at a time. Somehow, I will make it through the holidays with my head held high and my spirits light.

Until that time, please send your best wishes to my husband, so that he can survive my tantrums and melt-downs in the meantime.

New Setback

2009-12-14T06:07:00.000-08:00

As well as I thought I was doing with my new challenge to eat slower, I learned another important lesson this weekend -- don't try to play hostess at the same time. We had some friends over on Saturday night for an evening of movies and spaghetti. I was so distracted with cooking and serving, that my own plate of food was gone before I even realized I had swallowed anything. This means that although I may plan on inviting people over again sometime soon, I am definitely not going to host any meals before another 30 days are up. I'm starting the slow eating challenge over again -- today is day 1.

Challenges continue

2009-12-11T06:47:00.000-08:00

On the slow eating front, I have been improving, but not quite as well as I would have liked. I have often caught myself halfway through a meal before I realize that I've been wolfing and then take a step back. At least I have noticed at some point during every meal so far, so I am not giving up. This is only day 7, so I have time before getting this right.

The exercising also continues. I am up to 30 push-ups now. I have also found a new website where I am tracking my progress: Daytum. It's a very simple interface, and I like that kind of minimalism. It also gives several different graphical views of data, which I think will be helpful.

First Challenge Complete!

2009-12-04T06:12:00.001-08:00

So, I have mentally been prepping myself to post my 'complete' announcement this Friday. Then this morning, as I am writing down my exercise numbers, I notice that today is actually day 31! Somewhere along the line, I miscounted and have successfully exercised for at least 5 minutes every morning for 31 days in a row. I'm actually very happy that that I lost count and was still able to stick with it.

Of course, the long term goal is to keep this up indefinitely to make it habit-forming. But with the first 30 day challenge met, it is time to move on to stage two -- I've decided my next challenge will be to eat slower. I still haven't quite determined exact measurements for this, but in general I am going to try to do the following:

chew every bite thoroughly
rest my hand/utensil more often
drink more inbetween bites
enjoy my food more deliberately

As before, I will be posting updates to keep my progress 'public'. Feel free to ask me about it, give suggestions, or slow me down when you see me eating. Today is day 1.

30/5 Challenge: Day 22

2009-11-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

Well, I am still continuing strong after the initial reset. It's been about three weeks and I haven't missed or stumbled yet this time. But now we are coming up to Thanksgiving, which will be a challenge. I want to make it through these thirty days, so I have to be extra vigilant for the holiday.

After this first challenge, I do plan to keep up with the daily exercise. The plan is that by then it should be habit and something I do automatically all the time. My next step as I've mentioned is something food related -- slowing down, or eating less -- but I still haven't figured out the details there. But I plan on doing another 30 day challenge and posting the info on this blog.

30/5 Challenge: Update

2009-11-13T05:50:00.000-08:00

After the reset, I am back to day 10 and still going strong. I'm doing 16 push-ups and 40 sit-ups, which I think it quite an accomplishment considering my current physical state. As long as I don't injure myself or get sick again, I think the 30 days will be easy to finish.

Now I'm contemplating my next challenge. I want to do something food related, but am not sure what approach to take and how to measure progress. Any of you have some ideas or suggestions?

30/5 Challenge: Reset

2009-11-02T10:17:00.001-08:00

Things were going so well and so easily, I think I go cocky. Well, and I also got sick. I barely moved through some stretches on Saturday, and didn't do anything at all on Sunday. I'm letting my body recuperate, and then I'll start the exercise challenge all over.

I don't think sickness counts as a real failure, but I will still start the count back at one when I'm feeling well enough to try again.

30/5 Challenge: First snag

2009-10-28T06:19:00.000-07:00

I'm half-way through my first challenge and still doing pretty well. I encountered a small snag this week however. You see, as a wimpy female, when my exercise routine calls for push-ups, I do them from the knee instead of on your toes. (As an aside, I was hoping that after the first 30 days I might be able to switch to regular toe push-ups once I've built up a little arm strength.) Knee push-ups still involve balance and arm strength and in my opinion, are a good stepping stone for beginners like me.

Anyway, things have been going along fine until this week when I inadvertently injured myself. I won't go into the details now, but basically I wasn't paying close attention to where I was walking and ended up falling onto my knees on concrete. Just like many an adventerous child, I ended up with a scrape on my knee caps and some serious bruises. Most of the time, I don't even remember that there is anything wrong. At least not until I try to get on my knees and do push-ups. Needless to say, the push-ups have had to come out of the exercise routine for a few days now. I got a couple done this morning before I moaned and gave up. I even tried a toe push-up, but my arms aren't quite ready for that yet.

Despite this small hiccup in my planned routine, I am still doing exercises every morning. After fifteen days, I think I just might make it. :)

30/5 Challenge: Day 10

2009-10-23T06:33:00.000-07:00

Still going strong after ten days. The exercises are getting a bit easier, but I'm definitely not to the "habit" stage yet. I still have to talk myself into it each morning. Again, I am hoping that through pure determination and repetition, things will eventually become auto-pilot.

30/5 Challenge: Still going

2009-10-19T06:07:00.001-07:00

I made it through my first weekend. It was harder than I thought it would be. I even planned ahead and put some "lighter" activities on the schedule for Saturday and Sunday. This did help me quite a bit Saturday morning, but after a fitful night Saturday night, I did not want to do ANYTHING Sunday, much less make my body move in 'healthful' ways. I forced myself through it and what should have taken only 5 minutes drug out for like 15... but I made it.

I hope it gets easier

30/5 Challenge: Day 3

2009-10-16T06:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm good for the first 3 days.... only 27 more to go. This morning was tough because I'm already sore. It's surprising what a simple 5 minutes of exercise can do to a person like me (i.e. getting older). Okay, so I knew it would be hard at first. I just need to stick it out and see how I feel in the end.

New Exercise Program

2009-10-14T11:12:00.000-07:00

Today I started a new 30 day challenge to exercise for at least 5 minutes every day. My plan is to make at least a small portion of that exercise (i.e. like sit-ups and push-ups) habit-forming. This seems somewhat daunting, but I'm trying to just focus on a little bit at a time. Thus arises the 30 day challenge with only 5 minutes a day. If I am successful, then I may go another 30 days with 10 minutes or something. We'll see.

Part of my "motivation" is to keep track of my progress semi-publicly, which is why I'm making this post. I will be updating weekly (or more often) with how things are going. Feel free to ask me about it when you see me, or post a comment, or send an email, whatever. If I don't answer to anyone, it'll be too easy to quit.

So... first update: The five minutes this morning went by a lot more slowly than I anticipated. I did several sit-ups and push-ups and felt feeble. But I did get it done!

The good old days

2009-10-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

We went to the local Renaissance Festival last weekend with some friends and I finally got to watch some jousting. I've been many times before, but never had a chance to watch any of the shows or entertainment. We had fun, but I need to complain to someone in charge about their misleading "Sparta 300 battle" -- not a single man in a leather bikini; booo.

Special thanks to Michelle for taking pictures and letting me have some.

The year I didn't go...

2009-09-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

... and Burning Man was perfect. No dust storms, moderate temperatures, perfect playa... all the things that I hope for, and I missed out. At least Justin got to enjoy it. I am going to prepare even better for next year to make up for what I missed!

My friend who also attended with Justin this year finally put up some pictures, so if you're interested, check it out: Burning Man Pics 2009.

Integration

2009-08-20T05:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been back from my GenCon trip for awhile now. I'm having trouble re-integrating into normal life. I don't want to lose the excitement and happiness from the trip....

Here are some pictures for your enjoyment in the meantime.

Silence

2009-07-30T14:24:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I've been quiet on this site for awhile. I've decided to stop posting my thankful lists, not because I'm not grateful anymore, but because I think the novelty has worn out.

I realize people may be interested in what is going on at my company. For those who don't readily remember, I work at a financial institution -- a corporate credit union. The economic collapse of the past two years has hit my company hard. So hard in fact, that earlier this year the NCUA (kind of like the FDIC for credit unions) took us into conservatorship. The CEO and board of directors were replaced, and since then, the new leaders have been slowly trimming people until we have now vacated the first floor of our building to make room for a possible sub-lease tenant.

Many of you also may know that I have been through a few lay-offs before. Although I left Sprint voluntarily, I did get to witness some rounds of trimming at that company. Since then, my two other employers have both let me go for cut-back reasons. This feels like a pathetic cycle in my life. A cycle that I was given a nice opportunity to break out of today when my current company offered voluntary separation. If you're not familiar with that term, it basically means you can leave your employer but still receive severance benefits -- which from this place is a really nice package. Of course, it has to be approved by your manager and HR, but this is basically a way for the company to continue to trim personnel without looking like the bad guy.

Anyway, I sat and considered this offer for a few minutes today. The severance package is very tempting, because it gives me at least two months of paid time. However, the things I like about working here still outweigh the recent negatives. I still have the best manager I've ever worked with. I get along really well with all my teammates and most of the company at large. The location is close and convenient. The benefits are still pretty good despite the latest changes. Granted, I may not have worked at a ton of different companies, but I have had enough varied experience to know that most places will have all the same political problems. I have decided that I am comfortable with my loyalty trait and will try to weather out this storm a little longer.

Of course, it may become moot sometime in the future if the NCUA changes regulations so that the purpose of my company is no longer needed. That will be a problem for another day, hopefully at least a year from now.

Movies, movies, movies

2009-07-05T15:15:00.001-07:00

Haven't done a movie marathon in awhile, so it was nice that Justin and I finally had a weekend to rent a stack and watch them all. We didn't think of any cool themes or anything; just pulled a bunch that we wanted to see.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - 7. The special effects, as expected, were pretty spectacular. The acting was also very good. The story was even kind of interesting, but not as much as I had hoped for.

Quantam of Solace - 6. Although I had already seen this, Justin hadn't yet and of course we wanted to see it in all the glory of Bluray. Still, I don't like shaky-cam action shots, and the story was hard to follow.

Seven Pounds - 8. To me, not a realistic story, but still it was done very well. I liked the acting performances.

Taken - 7. A fairly decent single-man-revenge-action movie. I liked it better when it was Arnold blowing things up. But Liam tries so hard to look like he can kill with a punch, that I gave him the benefit of the doubt during this 2 hours. In the end, it made me not want to go to Paris.

Changling - 7. Not too bad of a movie overall; pretty much what I expected. The main reason I wanted to see it was to watch Jeffrey Donovan in something other than Burn Notice. I also think making a drinking game with that movie and the words 'my son' could be dangerous.

Shiny

2009-06-26T05:54:00.001-07:00

Another week flies by. At least it is warm and sunny outside, which always puts a smile on my face.

I still have a job I enjoy (3 more people in my department were let go this week)
One of my house plants keeps blooming pretty pink flowers
Warm, sunny days of summer

Father's Day Trip

2009-06-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend we went to Oklahoma and visited my brother. The rest of the family tagged along too. Below are a few pictures.

Zoom zoom

2009-06-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

Another week has flown by. Where does all the time go?

Being able to spend quality time with my husband
People who think of fun, new ways to play with Jenga blocks
Online guildmates that do their best to help out
A husband that brings me yummy rice to work

Hazy

2009-06-05T05:49:00.000-07:00

It's kind of sad how sometimes when I sit down to write my thanks for the week that I can't even remember what I have done. This is one of those times where days seem like a blur and everything feels a little numb.

The fact that I take time once a week to wake myself and think of the details in life
Continued sunny days
A husband who reminds me that most of my free time is spent playing games
The opportunity to play lots of games

Remember the Alamo

2009-05-29T06:13:00.000-07:00

So over the weekend we took a trip to San Antonio and decided that it's not a city we particularly enjoy. We came back early and spent a little time with my brother in Oklahoma City, which was much more fun.

Being able to drive longer than I thought I could
A brother who lets us stay with him at the last minute
Blowing up blocks
Friends that enjoy action/sci-fi movies with me

Keeping afloat

2009-05-22T05:20:00.001-07:00

It's been another calm, fairly uninteresting, week. I am encouraged that it is starting to feel a little like summer.

More beautiful days of disc golf
Tasty spinaca with sweet salsa
A chance to get away for the weekend
The occasional puzzle at work that keeps me interested

Maintenance

2009-05-15T07:48:00.001-07:00

This has been a pretty boring week, with not much to report on. I probably should put up a separate post about Star Trek, but in short, I loved it and can't wait to see more. I'm also rating it a 9. I need to wake up and pay more attention, because I don't have many things to list in my thanks today:

Getting to see an awesome movie a second time
Strawberry-Banana smoothies
New gadgets that make my husband happy

Thanks for Mom

2009-05-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

Time with the family is always nice, especially when we get to celebrate someone special.

A gracious, giving, thoughtful, productive and supportive Mother
Time with the family to see a good movie
A picnic lunch by the lake
Recovering from lingering sickness

Stop and smell the flowers

2009-05-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

This week is yet another fight between me and Mother Nature; the temperatures are good, but lots of rain is no fun.

A beautiful day of disc golf along with a well-played game
A gorgeous, blooming azalea bush
A tasty spinaca dip
An afternoon nap when you are feeling sick

Trimming

2009-04-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

Now that things are finally warming up, I can spend some time outside. But when I do, my histamine system goes into overdrive. I just can't seem to win with nature.

Rubber mulch tree circles
A really cool elliptical machine that is still working after many years
Google sites allowing me to create something useful very quickly
Sushi

Jumping Jellies

2009-04-17T13:53:00.001-07:00

I guess I really don't like Spring in Kansas. The weather can't make up it's mind at all, and the changing temperatures just leads to more migraines. I am truly a Summer person.

No accumulation
Supportive teammates that show up even for that late, late game
Planning for future fun trips
Grilled vegetables

Vicissitudes

2009-04-06T06:41:00.000-07:00

So just as I'm starting to enjoy Spring, Mother Nature throws some snow at us. Usually, that will happen during the week, when I have to go to work or travel for other reasons. I count it lucky that this snow came over the weekend.

Not having to travel in the icky snow
Making a big batch of vegetable beef soup
An enjoyable dinner for just the girls
Winning a soccer game
Making that perfect disc throw

My heart keeps pumping

2009-03-27T07:01:00.001-07:00

I scratched my cornea last Sunday, so this week's thanks have a new 'safety' theme.

A body that can repair itself
A doctor's office that fit me in on short notice
Other drivers who slow down some in the rain

Who Watches?

2009-03-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

So I have delayed a little bit on my review of Watchmen. I saw it opening weekend on an IMAX screen and I really enjoyed it. Then, I borrowed the full graphic novel from a coworker and enjoyed the reading, but not as much. Finally, I went back to the theatre again last night to watch it again in the new AMC Cinema Suites.

I'm going to rate the movie a 9 overall. I really enjoyed the feel of the film, especially during my first viewing. I did not like the graphic novel as much, mostly because it is so dated, but also because I think some of the characters were just too weak to be believed as true "heroes". I like all the changes made in the movie and I think it builds a stronger story in the long run.

The new theatre I will give a rating of 5. There were some good things -- a very comfy recliner, being served at my seat, more space, and no kids. But there were also some bad things -- the leather seats squeaked pretty loudly, some of the servers didn't crouch and thus blocked my view, some of the patrons thought that a smaller theatre meant they could make more noise, and bad food. In the end, I think I would go back, but it would have to be the right kind of movie and the right kind of circumstances.

A warm breeze

2009-03-20T05:52:00.000-07:00

I think Spring might be here! It's harder to be depressed when nature is waking up all around you.

A successful compile
Oven-roasted cauliflower
A night of sound sleep
Solving a difficult problem
Trees showing new buds

Head above the flotsam

2009-03-13T14:25:00.000-07:00

It's been another rough week with lots of bad news. Sometimes it takes awhile to see any bright side. Yet when I stop for a moment to think about it, my life is not all that horrible. I am still thankful for:

Seeing a good movie with friends
Finding a new funny sitcom
Coming home from work to husband cooking a delicious, healthy dinner
A boss who takes her team out to lunch

Seasons Changing

2009-03-06T06:11:00.000-08:00

Spring is not my favorite time of year, but since it means that Winter is over, I'd say it's my second favorite. Even if it's not officially Spring yet, it's starting to feel like it, and that makes me happy. Other things I'm thankful for this week:

A winning home team (Go KU!)
Five Guys fries
Not just a second wind, but a third, while playing a tough soccer game
A sunny day
Outdoor temperatures rising
A small chocolate frosty

Edibles

2009-02-27T06:51:00.000-08:00

Well, it's no wonder why I struggle with eating too much food -- most of the time I am very thankful for something delicious.

Dried cherries
Oatmeal
Back-rubs
The excitement of possibly a good movie (Watchmen)
A good story

Family, food and fun

2009-02-23T11:52:00.001-08:00

Last week's thanks are late because I was on vacation all week. So I start this list appropriately:

Vacation
Cooking Day (1407 meatballs!)
A family that laughs
Pasta

To my love

2009-02-13T07:05:00.000-08:00

In honor of Valentine's this weekend, here are several things about my husband I am very thank for:

His beautiful blue eyes
His kind heart
His strive to be the best
His desire to always do right
His thirst for knowledge
His quirky uniqueness
His attempts to make me laugh
His love of movies
And of course, I am most grateful for his love for me

Hanging in there

2009-02-06T06:45:00.000-08:00

Another tough week with bad news all around. This week's few bright spots:

Spending a day with my husband watching movies and talking
Friends that try help and support me
Coworkers that send funny emails

Mini Movie Marathon

2009-02-02T08:20:00.000-08:00

So on Saturday, I convinced my husband to go out for a change and see a movie. We started with this vague idea that we'd see one and maybe have lunch and then see if there was time for another. Sometimes it is nice to start a day with little planning in mind. He really wanted to see The Wrestler and I really wanted to see Slumdog Millionaire. I thought we'd start with his choice, but when we got to the theatre, I realized I had swapped the show times in my head so we ended up watching my movie first.

Slumdog Millionaire - Rating: 7. You might be as surprised by that number as I was while watching the movie. This is one of those few times where I let all the press and hype raise my expectations and went in hoping for something spectacular. While I did enjoy the film, it did not impress me the way I had hoped. The music was enjoyable and the acting performances were very good, and although things end on kind of an "up" note, I still left the theatre kind of sad.

So we went to Zios for lunch, where my day did not get any better. I used to love this particular chain restaurant, but things have been slowly going downhill over the past couple of years. Our lunch was edible, but just barely. The service was passable, but again, just barely. So we got in and out of the restaurant pretty quick and decided to try our luck at the theatre again and see Justin's choice.

The Wrestler - Rating: 6. There are certain aspects of this movie that I can respect, but in the end, I didn't feel that it brought anything new to the industry. This time I was not expecting as much, so I didn't come out disappointed. However, my growing depression for the day kind of exploded during that movie. My husband tried to explain it to me later -- tragedy is an accepted form of entertainment. In hindsight, I can see it and even understand -- heck, I've like many of the Hamlet films and other tragedies -- but I was not in the right frame of mind for it on Saturday.

Now that I was in a complete bummed-out mood, we decided to get some pizza for dinner and rent some "happy" movies to watch when we got home. So we got my favorite, Wheat State pizza along with 4 rentals.

Kung Fu Panda - Rating: 9. This is just what I needed. An enjoyable comedy that included the awesomeness of Kung Fu. Nothing like the mixture of laughter and action to make me feel better.

Death Race - Rating: 7. After a movie with more laughter and some action, we switched to one with more action and only some laughter. Again, when you start a movie with low expectations, usually you won't be disappointed. This one actually surprised me a little and I enjoyed it more than I anticipated. And I was literally laughing my head off at the disclaimer shown at the end of the film. For some reason, Hollywood executives think it is more likely that someone will try to duplicate the stunts of cars with Gatling guns, rather than say, the similarly crazy stunts in XXX. Their logic is .... well, laughable.

WALL-E - Rating: 8. Another enjoyable Pixar animation that made me laugh at their prediction of overweight humans on a star-cruise-line. Oh, and I can't wait for the pizza plants!

So that was enough for one day. We saved the fourth rented movie for later, and ended up watching it last night.

Max Payne - Rating: 4. Not much to say about this one.

Sticking it out

2009-01-30T06:14:00.000-08:00

It's been a rough week. I thought that always coming up with three simple things would be easy, but sometimes, it's more of a challenge.

A job where I get along with my coworkers and I really like my boss
A roof over my head
A car with a working heater

Still winter

2009-01-23T07:01:00.000-08:00

And so my list this week continues on a certain theme

Things that make me laugh and learn at the same time
Oatmeal with brown sugar
Brownies
A bright, sunny and cloudless day

Surviving the White Death

2009-01-16T07:01:00.001-08:00

As this icy, flaky, horrible stuff falls from the sky, I reflect on the things I am thankful for this week:

Space heaters
A good pair of boots
New tires
Fingerless gloves for typing
Hot tea

Christmas

2009-01-13T06:24:00.000-08:00

Yes, I did take my camera and have pictures -- I just finally sorted through and put a few up in a web album:
Consiglio Christmas 2008

Light at the end of the tunnel

2009-01-12T10:38:00.001-08:00

I'm still wishing I was healthy again. In the meantime, I have recently been thankful for:

Cough syrup and cough drops
A place where I can play soccer with women like me who like to have fun and NOT kill each other
A family that enjoys playing games and laughing
Movies that make me laugh

Post-Holiday Thanks

2009-01-06T11:54:00.001-08:00

Health (It's so easy to forget until you get sick)
Sleep (Again, easily taken for granted)

I'll think of more things when I've gotten more of the two already listed.

Staying Warm

2008-12-22T06:29:00.001-08:00

Things that I am thankful for during a freezing weekend:

Videogames
Homemade vegetable soup
Space heaters
Blankets
Cats who sit on your lap

The health factor

2008-12-19T06:40:00.001-08:00

Three more things I am thankful for:

Working eyes and hands so I can do my job
Working knees and ankles so I can still play soccer
The fact that I haven't had to deal with the flu this year

New Theme attempt

2008-12-17T11:24:00.001-08:00

Every week I will try to list at least three things I am happy or grateful for. So far:

Dark chocolate
An awesome, loving, supportive husband
A boss who believes in me

Shopping Weekend

2008-10-16T10:11:00.001-07:00

This past weekend my family did our shopping/golf trip to Branson, Missouri. We usually go to the Ozarks, but Branson is closer for those travelling from Oklahoma and there are 3 outlet malls instead of just 1. The 3 shopping centers are not all as large, but even discounting duplicate stores, I think there was more to see in Branson. Overall, it was a great trip. The girls were able to shop all three outlet centers as well as a normal retail strip along the river. I wasn't keeping the record for shopping bags this time, but I believe the total was somewhere around 60. (Amy can you confirm?)

Anyway, the other fun thing is that I got to run a Dread scenario. It's a role-playing game that uses a Jenga tower instead of dice, and I've really come to enjoy the tension and antics that it creates. I hope to create my own scenario and run another game sometime soon.

More pictures from Burning Man

2008-10-06T14:33:00.000-07:00

My friend Paul has one of those really, really nice, really, really expensive cameras and took a ton of pictures at Burning Man. They've finally been sorted and posted and I can share the link: Burning Man 2008

Burning Man

2008-09-03T20:32:00.000-07:00

I know I am way behind on updates here, but a lot of that is because we were preparing for, and then attending, Burning Man. I'm trying out a new way to post pictures so check out my lousy pictures here.

The Challenge is not yet over!

2008-06-13T14:06:00.001-07:00

Well, I was begged today to get back on the bowling team for Corporate Challenge. I'll be competing tomorrow, which means there is no time for practice or anything. Wish me luck!

Random Thoughts for the Day

2008-06-13T13:53:00.001-07:00

When did life get so busy that I can't even find time to write my thoughts down?
When you are busy, why do people think that constantly asking "How can I help?" is actually helpful?
Note to self: Indian food makes me burp a lot.

Last Challenge Update

2008-06-11T19:12:00.000-07:00

Well, we played soccer Tuesday night. The women's team started off fantastic and we won our first game 4 to 0. The men on the other hand, lost their first game. It being a double-elimination tournament, both teams headed into their next games with some optimism. The women did not do as well and we lost like 4 to 3. Our next game was a forfeit which gave us a long 45 minutes before our final game of the night. We got to watch the men win their 2nd game which helped give us some steam as the women headed towards our fourth match up. Unfortunately, the long break made several of us get cold and tighten up some which did not help as we tried to keep up with some young girls who had some obvious ball skills. I was further chagrined when I realized that one of the ladies on the team was the person I played (and beat) in my first racquetball game. She obviously had more soccer skills than racquetball. We did score two, but compared to the other team's 7, it just didn't cut it. Thus, the women ended their competition with 2 wins and 2 losses. The men ended up winning their third and final game, which means they will continue playing again tomorrow night. Some of us will go to cheer them on.

Can I be the biggest loser?

2008-06-06T06:13:00.001-07:00

A coworker has brought the concept from a reality TV show to work and we are starting a weight contest next week. Normally, I don't like diets, but now there is competition involved so I think it could be fun. He sent the request to the entire IT department, and so far quite a few have signed up. Once all the names are in, teams will be randomly selected, which will make it all the more interesting. The first weigh-in is next Tuesday, so I'm getting all my bad eating habits out of the way - I went to Stroud's yesterday and am going to Five Guys today. After next week, I won't be back to those places until after August 10th.

Finally, some vacation pictures

2008-06-02T19:20:00.001-07:00

Yes, I know these are LONG overdue; and even now I don't have a lot of time to type up a nice story, so this will be short and sweet.

The first picture on my camera

While standing at the pizza/video place, I took this picture of the resort we stayed at. This bay marked the country borderline on this side of the island -- our resort was in Dutch Saint Maarten, while the pizza/video store I'm standing in on the north side of the bay was in the French Sint Martin.

This is the aforementioned pizza/video store (in the lower right-hand area), where we rented DVDs almost every night but only ate the pizza once.

We watched some wind surfers one day

I tried to catch this guy in one of his jumps, but this is the best shot

I really enjoyed a lot of the colors we got to see at the butterfly farm. What follows are only a few that stayed still long enough for a picture.

More of the beautiful ocean

This is one of the spectacular views we saw as we were geocaching on the island. Can you imagine living in a house like that in a place like that?

There was a cool fort not far from our favorite French city Marigot.

I finally managed to catch a photo of one of the many geckos we encountered.

Mediocre Challenge Performance

2008-06-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I didn't do as well at racquetball as I did at disc golf. I showed up and was immediately nervous when my first opponent was noticeably younger than myself and seemed to be in much better physical condition. Luckily, however, she does not play racquetball very often and I was able to get into some rhythm and actually won that match, keeping her score to under 5 for each game. My mounting optimism was soon squashed when I met my next opponent. This girl was younger still and a physical therapist by profession. Not only was she in top shape, but she played volleyball in college and thus, as a collegiate athlete, was much more agile and coordinated than I. To further sway the scales, her first opponent forfeited so she had not even played yet and thus was completely fresh and ready to go. Needless to say, I did not win the match, but at least I scored 8 points in both games I played.

Next week is soccer, but as a team event, I should have some good support. Plus, we've actually been practicing, so I am optimistic again.