Waffling

I never really considered myself indecisive, but I have to admit that this whole job situation has really been challenging me. At this point, I do believe that it will be better for me in the long run to go ahead with the new position. Now it is just a matter of timing. How long can I squeeze out some extra money from the old place until I jump ship? Is there even an amount of money that is worth it? These are the questions I ponder while my stomach roils from all the stress.

Change is hard.

Work

I finally have a few minutes to breathe, so I thought I should explain the latest regarding my job situation. Let me start at the beginning. I have stayed at my current job for primarily four reasons (in order of importance): 1) the people, 2) the work, 3) the benefits, and 4) the location. Starting with reason number three, things have been deteriorating. The economic crises has hit the financial industry pretty hard, and my company particularly so. Our benefits have steadily declined and without any raise or bonus for more than a year, this means my salary has effectively decreased as well. So that is one less reason to stay.

Obviously, since I rank people as the most important reason to stay at my job, you can tell how much I value working with a team that I can respect and get along with. As the state of our company became more and more precarious, at first many people were let go and now many are leaving on their own. Over the last four and half years I have had the privilege for working under the best manager I've yet known. Once my boss decided to leave, I knew that things were going to get worse for me. This has all but eliminated another reason to stay. (There are still a few coworkers around that I really like.)

The hammer finally came when the powers that be decided I needed a promotion. So now even reason number two is in jeopardy as I’m forced to be doing a job that I didn’t want and don’t enjoy. Basically, they promoted me along with a few other coworkers so we could take over the work that my manager and one other manager used to be doing. They didn’t ask any of us if we wanted the position or the responsibility. I’ve never made any noises about going into management. I had pretty much assumed I would not enjoy that type of work, and now I know for sure.

The pressure is pretty tough. The responsibility is heavy. The raise (that came with the promotion) is not enough to compensate. Thus, I am updating my resume and reestablishing contact with some references. In the meantime, I hope my friends can be understanding if I’m more frazzled, forgetful and edgy lately.